Do you know how to Forgive and Forget?

by moonspecks on January 22, 2011

If you forgive someone, do you forget what has happened?  How many times have you heard people say forgive and forget?

forgive-and-forgetPeople usually say that it is easy to forgive, but it is hard to forget.  Yet, many people find it still hard to forgive others.

You have to learn to forgive for your own benefit.  There is nothing that can harm you and have a big impact on you like holding a grudge on someone for something that has happened in the past.

When you forgive, you are not accepting the other person’s behavior, what you are doing is loving yourself more and you are forgiving the other person for their our own sake, so anger and bitterness doesn’t affect you or your health.

For example, let say, someone hurt you in really a bad way. You have to ask yourself, if you don’t forgive that person, is it going to make the situation better? Most likely no.

If you don’t forgive, you are going to stay bitter, angry, and all this pain will affect your health and mental wellness. Therefore, since you should love yourself the most, you forgive the other person, so you can move on with your life without carrying the anger and bitterness in your heart.

Now, when you forgive, depending on the situation, it is up to you if you want to continue interacting with that person. The main purpose of forgiveness is so you move on with your life without the bitterness and anger, so it won’t affect your health.

To learn how to forgive and forget, follow the guide below:

1.  Give the person a chance to apologize

Despite the fact that you are upset and don’t wish to hear what the individual who have hurt you have to say, yet it is very necessary to give him a chance, so you can forgive him after you cool down.  Without an apology, your anger will turn to bitterness that will be very hard to get rid of.

When you give the person who has hurt you a chance to apologize, you will be helping yourself to heal.  Be open and listen to his apology to overcome the pain caused by this situation.

2.  Listen to the explanation

By listening to the explanation, you might discover that the situation doesn’t need all this pain that you are feeling and the grudge you have toward this person.  The explanation could help remove any misunderstanding that may have occurred.

Ask any questions you might think of that can help clarify what has happened.  By understanding the root cause of the problem can reduce the pain that you are having and therefore, helps you accept the apology, then in time, you will move on.

3.  All people make mistakes

Realize that all humans make mistakes including yourself.  Consider what has happened a human mistake and that you can accept the apology from him.  It is crucial that you realize that humans are infallible.

A good way is to put yourself in this person’s position.  Ask yourself, if you have made this mistake or hurt someone, will you want others to forgive you?  This process will help you to accept the apology and move on with your life in peace.

4.  Take your time to heal

Forgiveness is not an easy thing like a button click as some believe.  Whenever the wound is deep, it takes longer time for you to heal.  A good way is to say to the person who has wronged you that you have accepted his apology, but need a little more time to heal.  Remember that time heal all wounds.

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